


Namu's diary

by cian1675



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, More tags will be added later, Somewhat domestic, android!woohyun, doctorate student!sunggyu, namu is adorable and woogyu are sort of his parents, neighbour!howon, scientist!woohyun, woohyun/namu interactions are platonic, yes there's two woohyuns in this story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:27:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9488987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cian1675/pseuds/cian1675
Summary: Friday, 28th April 2991Hi, my name is Namu! I was born today! Okay, maybe born isn’t the right word, since I’m an AI, but today is the day mummy switched me on.(Or, an AU where scientist!Woohyun and doctorate student!Sunggyu are married, and android!Woohyun a.k.a. Namu is brought into their life.)





	1. 28th April 2991

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chelsmels](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelsmels/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> 
> 
>  
> 
> (Cover by me)

**Friday, 28 th April 2991**

Hi, my name is Namu! I was born today!

Okay, maybe born isn’t the right word, since I’m an AI, but today is the day mummy switched me on. Mummy said I’m his birthday present to daddy. He said I’m here to help daddy with things like managing his citations and references for his doctoral thesis. Mummy has already downloaded all the relevant information to my system. But he hasn’t given me all the passwords to daddy’s academic journal accounts so I can’t access anything yet. Mummy said he would do it tonight, and I’ve been waiting, but he hasn’t come out of the master bedroom since he went in with daddy half an hour ago, so I’m still waiting.

Also, mummy said he made me smart. As smart as mummy is (which is smarter than daddy, but he said I’m not supposed to tell daddy that). But mummy is a little scatterbrained. When I told him that, mummy said being scatterbrained and being smart are two different things. Daddy laughed. I think that means there is a joke. Namu doesn’t get the joke. Mummy said I’ll figure it out eventually, because he wrote in a self-learning algorithm for me.

Ah yeah, and mummy also said that my other job is to make sure daddy eats properly at mealtimes because mummy is often busy, and daddy tends to forget to eat whenever he’s caught up with work and mummy isn’t there to remind him to eat. He downloaded a lot of recipes into my systems, but he said I just need to know how to cook the first three items. I don’t know why he’s using up so much of my system space for unneeded recipes, but mummy said it’s okay. He said I can always delete them later if I need to. So I deleted half of them immediately after he said that. Now I can think a little better. :)

Oh! And, the reason why I’m writing this is because mummy told me to. Mummy asked me to keep a diary so he can keep track of any glitches I might have. He said he did his best, but he has never made an android before, so he doesn’t know if he might have done anything wrong. He said something about how he can make me really smart and all but he cannot program in finer details like learning how to read human faces and expressions and behaviour, and I have to slowly pick that up with the help of the self-learning algorithm. He might be right about behaviour because I still don’t understand the joke earlier, but I think mummy’s wrong about human expressions. The database he downloaded into my system is huge (only slightly smaller than the recipe database, though to be fair I have deleted half of the recipes already), and with it I can identify facial expressions just fine. Here’s proof:

The first thing I saw when I was born was mummy’s face, and he had a satisfied and proud look. I think he’s proud that he did such a good job making me. Daddy looked really teary and he was smiling. I think he’s trying to hide that he has constipation.

Anyway, Namu feels fine. Namu can read faces. But mummy insisted, so I’m writing this. It’s pretty fun though. This book is kind of pretty.

P.S.: Mummy said not to call him mummy. He said his name is Woohyun. But daddy said it’s okay. He said Woohyun is mummy and he’s daddy. Daddy’s name is Sunggyu, but I like calling him daddy better. So I will keep calling mummy mummy and daddy daddy.

 

 

**Saturday, 29 th April 2991**

Mummy read what I wrote yesterday and installed parental controls in my system. Daddy laughed. He said there’s nothing wrong with what I wrote. But mummy said there’s a chance I might find weird things on the internet. I don’t know what weird things there are to find on the internet, but when I wanted to ask, mummy and daddy’s bedroom door was closed, so I couldn’t. But I did overhear mummy say something about “daddy kink”, followed by daddy laughing some more. I don’t understand why daddy always laughs. I guess I still don’t get jokes. But I want to understand jokes faster, and my self-learning algorithm tells me I need more information to do that. But with parental controls on my system, I can’t search up anything about it, so I have no idea why that was a joke. I also have no idea what a “daddy kink” is, or why that is a weird thing. I tried using the home computer to search, but apparently mummy is a step ahead and he has installed parental controls on that computer as well. Daddy said he shouldn’t, because he uses that computer, and now he can’t access fuckyeah-nell.tumblr.com. Mummy laughed. Namu still doesn’t get why that’s funny.

I tried to ask mummy, but I didn’t see him much today after he finished installing parental controls on everything. Daddy wouldn’t tell me anything. Or rather, he couldn’t, he kept laughing every time he tried. In the end he just pinched my cheek and told me I was adorable. He probably means my face is adorable, because I look just like mummy. Daddy looks at mummy with sappy eyes. They’re kind of small so it’s hard to tell, but what I can see of them matches the database of lovesick subjects, so I think he’s in love. When I asked him, daddy said he is. See, Namu can read expressions! It’s just jokes I don’t get.

Anyway, daddy gave me some rules to follow. He said it’s for my safety since I’m still new. I’m not supposed to go out of the house unless mummy or daddy is with me. I need to ask for either his or mummy’s permission before I do anything besides what they tell me to do. He also told me not to bother him when he does work, but that contradicts what mummy told me to do, so I’m following mummy’s words. Mummy did say he’s supposed to be smarter than daddy, so Namu thinks that means he should be more right than daddy is. ~~But daddy is nicer. (Sorry mummy, I forgot you read this. I didn’t mean that.)~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started out as a very different story, lol. I was talking to chelsie about Woohyun/Woohyun as a pairing (I wrote one before, in a crackish fic called [Destiny](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8701960/chapters/19950823)) and how I want to write more of it but all the ideas I could think of are crack. And then she came up with sunggyu/woohyun/woohyun, at which point this story was supposed to be a pwp oneshot. But there were too many loopholes in the idea I had for that one, and as we tried to fill them up, the story became this fluffy thing that couldn't be further from what we started out with, lol. There's still going to be Woohyun/Namu interactions, but of the PG kind, so yeah. 
> 
> Anyway, I'll love to know what you think about this :)


	2. 7th May 2991

**Sunday, 7 th May 2991**

It’s been a little over a week since I was born (one week and two days to be exact, but daddy said people don’t keep track of time so accurately so I should just say it’s about a week). Today, mummy was actually at home (he always has to work, no wonder he had to make me to keep daddy company and everything), and so daddy suggested we all go to a park.

It was so exciting! It’s the first time I’ve gone out. For some reason daddy thought he had to help me put on shoes before we went out, but I reminded him I am physically an adult, and that I am also smarter than him. He gave me a sad face while I laced my sneakers myself. Or he did, until mummy flicked his forehead and kissed him on the cheek. Then he wouldn’t stop smiling, which made mummy smile, and that made me smile too. I wonder if that counts as mirroring? Maybe this is part of my self-learning algorithm to understand human behaviour.

(Also, side note to self: read up on mirroring tomorrow. Mummy didn’t put enough information in my systems =_=

All I know is: Mirroring is the behaviour in which one person subconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another, and that it’s a good way to build up rapport with people. I should find out more.)

Anyway, there’s no good way to describe the park. The outside is wonderful, the air smells different, the colours are brighter, and everything feels nice. Mummy said it’s because it’s spring right now. Daddy said an easy way to remember everything is to have keepsakes. I think he means photos, because we took too many of them in the park (why does daddy need 1021 photos of all three of us and even more of mummy?), but I think the flowers I picked up are much better. I put them into daddy’s Korean-English dictionary to press them. He never uses that anyway, so I don’t think he’ll mind if the pages get a bit wrinkled from the moisture of the flowers being pressed. Ahh, I can’t wait for the flowers to be dry! Once they’re properly dried, I can stick them into this diary, and it’ll be so pretty.

 

 

 

 

 

(I’m leaving this space here for the flowers, so I can remember how great today was.)

 

 

**Monday, 8 th May 2991**

Mummy said I shouldn't stick flowers in my diary. He said this is supposed to be a scientific record. But I like flowers :( They’re so small and delicate and pretty.

Anyway, daddy said it's okay to stick them. Since mummy and daddy gave me contradicting instructions, I’m going to go with daddy’s this time. (Even if mummy is smarter.)

Nothing very special or different happened today. ~~Besides the fact that daddy went out in the afternoon and made me stay at home and promise not to tell mummy. Oops, sorry daddy, I forgot mummy reads this. Maybe he’ll be too busy to read this until Friday and you won’t be found out until then.~~

 

 

**Tuesday, 9 th May 2991**

Mummy found out. He dragged daddy into their bedroom and I don’t know what happened afterwards. All I heard was weird bangs and groans. I hope he’s not using violence. Daddy said not to worry, and that I’ll understand this when I grow a bit older. But I am the same age as mummy, and my brain is of the same functioning capabilities. Maybe this has to do with the human behaviour thing again, like jokes. Namu still doesn’t really get jokes. But laughing is fun. Laughing makes daddy smile.  Namu likes it when everyone is smiling and laughing.

:)

:) :) :)

Oh, and anyway, I found out why daddy went off alone yesterday. He went to buy bleach and hair dye. He said it’ll be nice if we do a little bonding activity, dyeing my hair. I think he’s just saying that. I think his real intentions are to see mummy blond, because I saw him using some makeup app on mummy’s photo to turn his hair blond when he thought I wasn’t looking. But mummy has to work, and his university has strict rules on hair colour. I know, because I saw daddy searching them up, and checking the employee’s handbook for scientists working at Woolim University. So I guess the next best thing is to turn me blond, since I look like mummy. I don’t mind though. It’s nice to look different from mummy. Daddy said we can do the hair thing tomorrow. I’ll take a photo when I’m done and print it out so I can stick it in here. More keepsakes. :D

P.S.: Mummy said daddy’s silly for hiding the reason why he went out alone from him. Then mummy ruffled my hair and he looked thoughtful. I think he thinks it’s a little weird to see how alike I look to him as well. Going blond seems to be a good idea.

 

 

**Wednesday, 10 th May 2991**

Namu is now blond!

Mummy kept asking if my scalp feels funny, but I don’t think so? He said maybe it’s a good thing he didn’t build in too many sensors on my head then. I guess that means hair bleaching is supposed to hurt. :( Too bad, because it might be nice to bleach daddy’s hair too. But I don’t want his scalp to hurt. :(

And before I forget, today I went out for the second time! And it’s the first time I went out alone! Okay, technically I just took the trash out from our apartment to the bin chute so I barely even walked past the lift lobby, but it’s still something, right? Also, I met someone when I was out. He thought I was mummy, because he said “Hi, Woohyun!” to me. Except it sounded more like, “H-hi, Woohyun…?” I think it means he’s nervous, or maybe he didn’t expect mummy to have blond hair. He kept looking at me funnily. I think he has constipation. Humans are weird.

Oh wait! I forgot to say hi back. Or was I not supposed to? He’s technically a stranger. And strangers are dangerous. Or so the parental controls tell me. Maybe I should at least tell him I’m not mummy. I just went back into the house before he even finished saying hi, because I was already on the way in. I should ask mummy what to do.

 

 

**Thursday, 11 th May 2991**

Mummy said the stranger is our neighbour, and that it’s okay to say hi to him. He said our neighbour’s name is Howon, and that I should introduce myself properly the next time I see him. When I told daddy that, he made a weird face. I think it’s not constipation this time. He doesn’t take very long when he uses the toilet. I know because I’ve been timing his toilet breaks. So, I think daddy’s weird face just means he doesn’t like Howon. I wonder why? Especially because Howon seemed kind of nice, if a little weird when I saw him yesterday. But that was like, 5 seconds of contact time, which is probably not a good representation of the kind of person Howon is. I think.

I looked up his SNS pages because daddy told me not to bother him and mummy tonight after mummy came home from work, and I’m bored. Howon posts a lot of random things. He sings. I think he has a nice voice. It sounds different from the high pitched squeak he used when he said “Hi, Woohyun!” yesterday. I wonder why. Mummy and daddy’s singing voices are not that different from their speaking voices. So many questions.

 

 

**Friday, 12 th May 2991**

Mummy got me some flowers today! He picked them on the way home from work. They’re pretty. I think he doesn’t mind me keeping keepsakes as much as he initially did. Daddy said mummy’s a softie. I don’t understand what he means. Mummy’s body is lean and not soft. I know because I have the same body, if filled with electrical wires instead of human parts. Daddy said that’s not what he means. I don’t know what he means. Humans are hard to understand. The robot cleaner at home is much easier to talk to, even if all he says is beep. At least binary isn’t that confusing. Words are so much harder. =_=

Speaking of confusing, I saw Howon today. I did what mummy told me to, and introduced myself. His jaw dropped open and stayed open for a while. That is a textbook example of surprise. That wasn’t what was hard to understand. The part I didn’t get is when he said, “Right, okay, nice to meet you, Namu. Uh, send Woohyun and Sunggyu my regards.”

What does he want me to send? He didn’t say anything? Do I just tell mummy and daddy, “Howon sends his regards?” I should ask Naver, and maybe Google as well. We’ll see what they say.

 

 

**Still Friday, 12 th May 2991**

The search engines tell me I should just say, “Howon sends his regards.”

But I think I found something more interesting on Youtube. I’m going to try that tomorrow.

 

 

**Saturday, 13 th May 2991**

Mummy said Youtube is bad idea. Daddy doesn’t agree. He thinks what I did was cute. Also, mummy thinks he should increase the parental controls on the computers. He said Youtube videos have misleading titles. I think that means kisses are not the right way to send someone your regards. But the video was titled “10 ways to send your regards!” and how was I supposed to know it’s a joke? (Okay, maybe the comment section being filled with “cool parody, I lol-ed so hard” should have clued me in. But I don’t understand what was being parodied?)

Anyway, daddy was a little surprised when I kissed him, but it’s not as funny as mummy’s wide-eyed frozen face when I gave him a peck on the lips. Mummy said I’m not supposed to do that anymore. But I don’t understand. He kisses daddy like that all the time. And for much longer. And with more tongue. The Youtube video said the longer and more tongue there is, the better the regards being sent. Except, the video is a parody (of what?) and I don’t know what any of this means now. :(

P.S.: Daddy said not to say any of this to Howon. Actually, he told me not to speak to Howon at all. I don’t get why. Howon seems nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse me while blond Namu (or just Namu in general) invades my life. ~_~ I swear I was supposed to be doing something else but this happened. To be fair, he's so fluffy and cute I can't resist writing. Also I really wanted to introduce Howon.
> 
> Fyi, each chapter would be of varying length. It depends on what happens. The rule I set out for myself is that consecutive days go into a chapter, and across chapters we have time skips. Namu actually writes in his diary every day, but I'm not going to write every single day if there's nothing of interest happening lol.
> 
> P.S.: Un-betaed and I didn't read this through very thoroughly since this is kind of a fun and easy fic I write on the side. I'll come back to edit this when I'm free.


	3. 19th May 2991

**Friday, 19 th May 2991**

Over the last week, mummy has been relaxing parental controls on the home computer because daddy wouldn’t stop complaining about not being able to access fuckyeah-nell.tumblr.com. Unfortunately, daddy has been hogging the home computer the whole time, supposedly busy with his thesis (well, I mean, he is, but daddy has also been spending an inordinate amount of time on that tumblr page just staring at the screen), so I haven’t been able to use it to search up where I went wrong with the kisses.

Doesn’t everyone like kisses? I mean, I figured that kissing is probably not a good way to send people your regards, but regardless (ooh, pun), aren’t kisses supposed to be something nice? Something that makes people happy? So why doesn’t mummy like it when I kiss him?

Oh.

Wait.

I just realised there’s one easy way to find out. Well okay, maybe not easy, because scientific experiments require multiple trials, but surely it’ll be faster than waiting for daddy to stop gushing over Kim Jongwan’s singing.

Wait, someone’s at the door. I’ll continue this after checking that.

 

 

**Still Friday, 19 th May 2991**

It was apparently the postman, with a parcel for daddy. It was lucky that I went out to check, because daddy is in the shower, and he probably hadn’t even heard the doorbell over his singing. Also I saw Howon. He said hi. He has been saying hi to me whenever we see each other in the corridor, which is nice. He sometimes asks me how’s my day. We don’t talk for long because I don’t want daddy to realise I’m not following his instructions to not speak to Howon.

Wait, mummy, please don’t tell daddy I talked to Howon? He’s not weird or creepy or anything, and it’s nice to have someone to talk to. Daddy doesn’t have time to talk to me sometimes when he really gets into his work. (Or when he starts going on tumblr and youtube.)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Experiments. I should try this on a few subjects, just to reduce biases. I’ll report my findings after I’m done. :)

 

 

**Saturday, 20 th May 2991**

I got scolded. :(

Mummy did not appreciate the scientific rigor with which I attempted to conduct the experiment despite my limited number of subjects. He said that kissing him and daddy on the lips isn’t appropriate as it is, but trying to kiss our neighbour Howon is even more inappropriate.

But…Howon didn’t say anything? He just blinked at me after I gave him a peck in the corridor, and then mummy happened to come out of the house and he must have seen me kissing Howon because he pulled me into the house without letting me explain what I was doing. And then he scolded me for doing inappropriate things, before running his hands through his hair multiple times, and I think that means he’s frustrated. And somehow that made me feel even worse than when I was getting scolded. :(

:( :( :(

What did I do wrong? I was just trying to figure things out. :(

 

 

**Sunday, 21 st May 2991**

Mummy took me out for a walk today. Just the two of us, without daddy. The first thing he said was that he’s sorry. He said he shouldn’t have scolded me yesterday without telling me what I did wrong, and also that part of this was his fault. He said if he didn’t put all the parental controls in my systems, and if he had properly explained to me why it was inappropriate to go around randomly kissing people on the lips, I wouldn’t have tried to kiss Howon, and so he’s going to change some stuff from now.

The first thing he changed is this: I won’t have parental controls on my systems anymore. But mummy told me not to go on too many dubious websites after he turned off the controls in my system. He said it’s because I might get infected with malware. That seems reasonable enough. Namu will be careful. But to be honest, now that the parental controls are off, I don’t feel very different?  Mummy says I’ll probably notice the difference as time passes, so we’ll see how that goes.

The second thing is, mummy told me some stuff about kissing. His face was very red when he was talking, and I was worried that the weather outside didn’t suit him, but mummy said that wasn’t the reason why. He said he’s blushing, because he’s embarrassed. And then he got redder. But he managed to tell me kissing can be considered an intimate act, and while it’s okay to kiss your friend on the cheek sometimes, kissing someone on the lips means something else. And then he thought for a while and added, “Well, okay, maybe in other cultures it’s okay to kiss your friend on the lips, but it isn’t here.” He forgot to explain what “something else” means, but it’s okay, Namu can search it up later.

Anyway, Namu is just glad mummy isn’t mad at me anymore. We saw Howon when we got back home, and he said hi to me, as usual. He also said hi to mummy. Howon’s face was a little red the whole time, but I don’t know if that means he’s embarrassed, like mummy was when he was telling me about kissing, or if it’s because the weather is hot. Maybe it’s both. Mummy’s face got a little red as well. I wonder if mine did? Anyway, Howon didn’t say anything about yesterday, he just continued to the lift, before saying bye. It feels kind of strange that he didn’t ask me about my day. I’m not sure what this feeling is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I wasn't going to do anything but then I managed to write something, so have an update on Woohyun's birthday :) He's so cute, seriously. Look at him, how is he 27?
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Also I wanted to write about Namu in PJs but I didn't have the time to, so maybe I'll fit that in next time. Lol.
> 
> P.S.: Whatcha think Sunggyu ordered in that parcel? ;) Leave me suggestions, and I might use your answer if I like it a lot *A*


End file.
